A Journey of Self-Discovery
When you reach an age where you find yourself reflecting on certain things, you try to look back, reluctant at first because you are afraid to challenge past decisions but if you are more daring you undertake an in-depth evaluation of every step that has led you to where you are today. I personally realized that when I was 20 years old I was quite repressed in the musts that I, myself often set for my life. “You have to get a job and once you find a steady one, stick to it for as long as you can.” “Don’t work on more than one subjects at a time because you won’t be as good to all of them!” Don’t get tattoos and piercings because it ruins your image, a good girl’s image”.
So, here I am today, in my 40’s, wondering why I’ve been in the same job for 20 years and have not taken the risk to move on to something closer to my needs or just something that I would possibly like more and would make me happier. It would have been much easier back then to take that risk, in my 20’s when I didn’t have kids or major responsibilities, wouldn’t it?
Again, here I am today deciding to continue my studies. I am currently studying for two master’s degrees, attending them at the same time, while being a full-time working mom of three boys. As I can see now, I could easily do that in my 20’s and yes, I could be as good at both masters as I am now. No matter how hard this is on a daily and a weekly basis it is an aspect of my life that really fills me up with a sense of personal improvement, a will to be creative and a persistence to keep going. After all it is my dream and it’s been a dream I have been carrying for so long.
Finally, I find myself today in my 40’s getting into a tattoo shop without having second thoughts and hitting a small tattoo….and had a piercing too!! Only because I wanted to, for 20 years now. What difference does it make to anyone anyway? Who has to do anything with it but me? It’s Just me, trying to love myself and be able to tell the girl inside me: “Look, I finally did everything you wanted to do back then, forgive me for taking so long and letting you down”. I realized though that it’s never too late to pursue your dreams and aspirations, even if it’s been 20 years. Find your inner child! Every time you laugh out loud, every time your heart skips a beat, every time you cry and every moment you long for…embrace the child in you! It’s been clear to me now… I am the girl in me!
